An Update

Just an update on my situation.  Nothing really new.  Still going to the acupuncturist once a week, still taking my temperature each morning, still waiting and hoping.  Last month I got really confident again that "this is going to be the month" so I was disappointed again at the end of it. My actupuncturist even thought that I might be pregnant last month because my pulse was stronger.  It's hard.  Each month I follow all of the steps and I'm supposed to think positively but balance that with not being *too* positive because each time I convince myself this is really it this time, I'm disappointed again when I get my period, then I'm being "negative" again because I start thinking it's never going to happen.  I have to monitor my jealousy about other people's pregnancies (not really Cassie - I'm excited to be an Aunt and so happy for her [although I am the older sister], but people like Snooki who probably shouldn't even be breeding).  Don't I deserve it because I want it so much?  No one thinks when they start this journey that they're going to have problems getting pregnant.  I'm certainly not the only one of my friends having issues, but people just naturally think it's going to be easy.  And we see that for some people it is easy.  And for some people it just seems like it's easy because we're not privy to all of the attempts and "this is the time" and disappointments that they went through before they got pregnant.  It's not always easy to remind myself that although I'm struggling with this, there are many things I have that other people would want like my wonderful husband and the best family anyone could ask for (especially my sister), I have a nice house to live in, a good job and enough food to eat.  I do have a good life.  I just would really like to have a child.  I guess I'll find out in a week or so...