This is the lesson that I have been learning this summer. When the summer began I hovered over my what I believed to be fearless 1.5 year old. My hovering caused multiple problems:
- It brought out the terrible 2's in my daughter, which led to frustration on both our ends.
- I realized I was keeping her from learning lessons for herself.
- And I was making her more dependent.
I might be mistaken but I believe the goal as a parent is to raise healthy, happy, independent, thriving children. Not a child that expects you to go to their first interview with them. Yes, I realize that she is not even two but I believe all experiences help to mold who we are. I found my self hovering for two reasons: she seemed fearless, and I was I was worried what others thought. I felt like others would judge me if I allowed my daughter to walk up those stairs or go down the slide on her own. I was glad when I met other Mom's at the park who had kids about the same age as my daughter or younger, who allowed their children to take the same risks. When I let my anxiety go away some very positive things happened.
- I stopped controlling my child so much, which meant she actually started to listen better when I needed her to.
- She showed me that she will ask for help when she needs assistance.
Here is Zoe asking for help down a slide.
She has taken a few spills this summer, which is bound to happen when you have a child that runs everywhere she goes. However, my daughter is very resilient. She will cry, but often times not very long, and then she's squirming out of my hands to get right back on that horse. And you know what I am proud of her for that. I am proud that she doesn't let one mistake cause her give up on learning something new or even having a little fun.
I find it interesting to compare Zoe to this other child. If I had to guess the other child is just barely a year old, around 8 months younger than Zoe. This little girl was happy and content to stand at one single fountain the whole time she was there, unlike Zoe who had to run around every single fountain. Even at a year, Zoe would not have been content to stand at one fountain. She always had to see it all. If you notice in the bottom photo I circled Zoe in the background. If you look close enough only one foot is just barely touching the ground. This girl is agile! When you have a child this active it's a part of life you just have to learn to accept. They are going to fall and they are going to get hurt. In fact she had two good falls at the fountains. I will always be there close by to pick her up, give her a kiss, and put her back on her feet.
